Tuesday, December 30, 2014

A tasty treat for the KL anniversary

    A new video for the KL anniversary.  I promise myself to write more, and create more in the new year.  Of course I've lied to myself before so who knows what to expect for 2015.

    Once again I've made a new short video which might not be legally playable on youtube since I stole both sound and image.  I'm posting it here for you to download but I've also posted it on youtube.  I guess so long as it doesn't get to be popular it should stay on youtube for a while.

    Heavy handed?  You better believe it.

Download Yum here.

            Yes it’s another unproducto year for Keep Laughing the blog.  This the 6 year anniversary post makes a grand total of three posts for the year 2014.  That’s a piss poor average.  I spent most of the year doing anything but writing or creating.  Most of it was spent chasing women who won’t have me, trying to become a better whiskey drinker, and fighting the same demons that have plagued me my whole life. 

            Not that I should have a whole lot to complain about.  Because life is pretty good.  Sure life isn’t exactly fair but it could be a lot worse.  And them demons tend to be illusions in my mind.  At least the personal demons are.  And I know that myself.  Maybe I take comfort in running around in circles chasing my tail.  Or just chasing tail in general.  I break out from under the spell when I want to and not a moment sooner.  Life is fucking great.  Maybe if I keep saying that loud enough I’ll hear myself and become a better person?  At least I’m not dealing with a strangulated drug problem although with what I’ve shared with you here over the years you’d be lead to believe that my life would be in a shambles by now.  It’s just not the case.  However smoking copious amounts of weed never leads to productivity.  I’m making that a new years resolution to stop smoking the weed.  After getting a medical marijuana card I kinda took it further than it needs to go.  But I got no regrets.  And I never liked drinking enough to make that a priority.  But I’m working towards that and maybe it will get there someday.

            The broader litany of demons that plague not only myself but the rest of the world are also illusions.  A house of cards really.   I have taken it as a personal insult that I can’t figure out the worlds problems from multinational corporate billionaires, to fucked up racist cops, and it will continue to haunt me.  But I’m finally starting to see that maybe it’s not my fault that there is such a lack of unity and such an inability to see the reality of the forest from the trees.  I continue to see glimmers of hope.  But I’m such a pessimist I still think that only catastrophe will make people hold hands together.   If history is any gauge.

            I love history.  It always seemed like something I could see way off in the distance.  Somewhere hidden in a desert cave.  A lot of history is locked away in those caves but it’s exciting and a bit intimidating to know that we’re living history today as well.  Let’s hope we have the balls to make it a better history that the bullshit we lived through huh? 

            I always thought that the grown ups were keeping it held together by sheer force of will but now that I’ve been a grown up for a while I can see that they were all kinda winging it.  And it makes me feel a little more confident in my own uncertainty. 

            I thought I was making a smart decision to throw my lot in with the labor movement, if you can call it such.  I still think it was a smart decision.  It's hard work to hold it together under the face of adversity within your own ranks.  This house of cards is literally sitting in a breeze, hanging by a thread.  It might as well be chewing gum as opposed to concrete and steel beams that bind corporations to our American lives.   

            I like to think I look out with positive emotion but that’s a fucking lie.  I comfort myself to sleep with visions of explosions laying America to waste because I can't see ant other way.  Is there is any positive life left in me?  I was a child who saw cynicism as a virtue, something to aspire to.  I thought I knew too much.  But I couldn’t have realized how desperate and fucked up the world really is.  How the bottom keeps dropping out day after day.  Now I wish I could be more transfixed with Star Wars, Rocky Horror, Ren Fair, punk rock or some other hide your face in the sand bullshit gothic lifestyle.  Why is the weight of the world always in my cranium when I could just as easily get really good at Super Mario Cart?  I might have to if I'm gonna keep it together. 

Wait a minute is this the same thing I wrote for last year's anniversary?  Damn.  Have I not grown much in the last year?