Dwarf Bitch Discography

    Some of these bands were doomed to obscurity because of the stupid names they chose.  Case in point.  I was thinking about how the only bands that get popular with stupid names are death metal bands.  Cannibal Corpse and Cattle Decapitation are really stupid names but somehow these bands manage to have lengthy careers.  That really speaks to the Metal mentality.  The flip side being shitty moronic punk bands with names like the Scumfucks or Anal Cunt both of which are total shit.  There is a huge surplus of ignorant bands flying the punk banner now a days.  But is it really surprising?  Anyway it's all relative.  This blog is a tribute to the worst band names ever!     

    Worst or best name ever, it's hard to say.  Dwarf Bitch will always be in my top three best bands ever from Las Vegas.  The records posted here came out in 1997-98.  While the hardcore scene was fading in the late 80's it still kind of limped along for a few years into the mid 90's.  A core group of bands started playing shows and even records were coming out.  A lot of this was due to the efforts of Boyde Wenger of Bucky records.  

    Out of that momentum Dwarf Bitch was born.  Featuring insufferable d-bag Jason Pachouli, on guitar, my good friend Greg Telles, formerly of Leap Frog Society, on bass, and another prick who should have been aborted: Ron Constantine formerly of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, on drums.  Is it ironic that I would be writing glowing praise for a band featuring two people for whom I wouldn't cross the street to spit in their hair? Growing up in Vegas made me a glutton for punishment calling garbage bags like Pachouli and Constantine friends. Really they are aquaintances, if that. Not sure why but I had a lot of fake friends growing up Vegas. Maybe I'm the problem?

Anyway, Dwarf Bitch had a track included on the second "Drinking" compilation on Very Small records.  Their first 7" was a split release by Meat Slap Records and Very Small Records and I think that was the last 7" put out by Very Small records.  

    Afterward Ron Constantine got kicked out of the band because, well he's Ron Constantine.  Mark Simmons from Leap Frog Society then joined on drums and a second 7" was released and a subsequent tour of the western United States ensued.  

    Is this LVHC?  Well yes and no.  Remember this came out in the late 90's.  The sound of hardcore had changed quite a bit and Dwarf Bitch informed their sound with outside influences that many LVHC bands didn't know about didn't pay attention to or ignored all together.  


    While it's still very much a punk band they had elements of metal in their sound which was fairly unique at the time.  It's pretty hard driving music  but it doesn't ever go over the edge and retains an unexpected poppy quality with catchy hooks in every song.  It's still hardcore but it's got character very much along the lines of Very Small records releases back then.  Who can I compare them to?  I'd say a mix of Schlong, Born Against, early Iron Maiden, and maybe- shit I don't know you tell me?  Minutemen?  Unlike a lot of late 90's hardcore these songs still sound fresh and innovative.  I don't think any of their releases got a review in Maximum Rock and Roll.  The name was deemed "Politically Incorrect" by that "subversive" magazine.  Another case of Punk rock politics missing the boat and the point.
      

    The lyrics are a tad simplistic but they're still really good.  Especially compared to the crap I've read from other Vegas bands.  This is a good quality scan above so you can read along if you don't understand what's being said.  That's where Dwarf Bitch gets ya!  Great  music and decent enough lyrics. I would say it leans to the metal side more than hardcore but it sounds nothing like that crossover stuff from the 80's.  
     They put out some interesting records that pushed both genres but didn't have a prayer of finding mass acceptance.  Shit, they guaranteed themselves career suicide with the name alone.  Similar story to Fuck Shit Piss.  Names like that are so inflammatory you almost can't say em in public.  I'm thinking that Metal bands can get away with cornball shit like Goatwhore and Ripping Corpse because it's not based in reality and thus it's less offensive.  No question that while Dwarf Bitch had a metal sound the name relegated them to punk territory forever.  Even if they had stuck around long enough to put out a gatefold double LP it would still be too smart ass to be true metal.    

    A lost gem for those who like metal/hardcore shit that is against the grain as well as being smart and smart ass.  One of the best bands ever to come out of Las Vegas but you probably won't download this because the name is so dumb.  Honestly I don't blame you.  If I didn't know any better I'd pass it up myself.  Such is life.

Download Dwarf Bitch Songs Below:
1.  Poison Gas
2.  Gag Order
3.  Little Fuk
4.  Cry
5.  Love Song
6.  Daddy's Little Girl
7.  Truck Stop Coffee
8.  Lizard People
9.  20 Seconds of Silence
10.  What Now?
11.  Stumble


Dwarf Bitch 1st 7" Lyric sheet
Dwarf Bitch 2nd 7" lyrics sheet

All these releases came with a ton of extras including stickers, found photographs, and other oddities another great Very Small Release!  Cool cover art by Greg Higgins!