Always
hated the word “mosh.” It’s total
meathead, metallicrap, east coast, tough guy posturing. At least I’ve always believed it to have
originated from the east coast although I couldn’t tell you who’s the genius for the genesis of the word. I always thought slam dancing had a better ring to it. Because to me it was about dancing
whereas moshing seemed to lack finesse, style, even individuality. It was misdirected fascist aggression
instead of being about having a good time. If you hurt someone in the process of slamdancing it was
just a bonus but it wasn’t the whole point of the exercise. To me “mosh” has an almost blatant
whiteness about it due to the inability of said moshee to find the fuckin rhythm. Moshers, for lack of a better word, can
easily be picked out of the herd because it’s almost always the case where the
hard mosher is new to the party and usually unfamiliar with the protocal of the
circle. Devoid of style and filled
with an aimless macho regard they don’t look like they’re having much fun. That’s the kind of desperation you
leave on the street. Don’t bring that shit to the party turkey trot. Sure wanton disregard had an obvious place
in the sometimes nihilistic world of hardcore but it was never the centerpiece in my opinion. Well it wasn’t always the centerpiece
anyway. Still it’s a part of the
lowest common denominator bullshit that’s always present in human nature and
not surprisingly more popular than ever.
OK, I'm not above it all and I’ll admit I like watching train wrecks as much as the next guy.
Still I gotta say I
always loved the violent guy in the pit.
He’d plow into a few people, maybe even “accidentally” punch someone in
the face all while bouncing around and being a general pain in the ass. You know in his mind he’s “moshing” up
a storm. But just like in nature
all storms eventually peter out, or a high pressure system rolls in, so to
speak. I loved seeing a jackass
like that enter the fray on the "dance floor"since I always seemed to figure out the right time to
retaliate on a stupid piece of shit like that. Right when he had reached critical
mass and had pissed off enough people, I could usually judge from the crowd and notice the exact second when the macho mosher was suddenly in danger of getting
his ass kicked by the crowd at large.
There’s been several times in my life when I’ve been the first to kick the
oppressive tough guy square in the ass, or push him hard onto the floor, or an
elbow to the face, knowing that everyone else in the vicinity was ready to beat
the motherfucker down just like I did. I have many memories of making the first move to attack the prick in the pit and then stand to the side to witness the rest of the crowd take the motherfucker down like a pack of wild dogs. Seeing their face go from cocky to shocking fear was always a hoot. This exact scenario, or it’s metaphor has happened several times in my
adult life albeit less violently.
How
these people could think they can ram into a crowd without repercussions, when
they are in the MIDDLE OF THE CROWD is just beyond me. What the fuck are they thinking? Everyone has their mythology of what "punk" is. When you get to a show you can let yourself go. But if you're not trying to unify the party you're just a prick that needs to get smacked. But just as often I’ve seen the crowd take a bunch of shit and not
react at all. There’s a pretty
blatant metaphor there as well I guess.
I don’t know… was I the violent
guy in reverse waiting for someone who was begging to be punched knowing I
could get away with it because it’s something "we" all wanted? Or was I the hero who got the ball rolling towards justice? Who gives a shit? I loved taking it out on that guy perhaps as much as he liked dishing it himself. It’s almost like justice
except I was waiting for the violent muh fuh at every show and he almost always
would make an appearance at every show.
So maybe I was being a macho jackass? I was certainly smarter about it, but
it stands to reason that these dudes were walking into a situation blind
thinking they knew what’s up.
After a few wacks from the audience I’d imagine very few of those tough
guys ever entered the pit with the same ruthless agenda. But hey some people are just fuckin
stupid, whaddayagonnado?
That kinda amateur shit happened
a lot back then and even more in the 90’s when all sorts of people showed up to
“mosh.” Yeah I mentioned Whitey
earlier, if my turning this into a race thing rubs you the wrong way perhaps
you should fuckin relax and learn to dance or else don’t go to places where
people dance and just stay at home listening to your Flotsam and Jetsam
records. Can’t believe I still
yearn for the days when metal and punk were bitter rivals. Nothing could be more irrelevant. Although this blog is exploring the
depths of irrelevancy in ways I never imagined possible.
 |
| This sticker from an old tape case of mine shows how even punkers like Danny Breeden used the word "mosh." What a poseur. This sticker was marked up in blue by Geoff Hughes back in 1988 when Fuck Shit Piss wasn't cool anymore. |
Speaking as someone who used to
live and die for hardcore punk, also I should mention I’m bored to tears by
most of what passes for punk or metal lately and all I listen to is jazz, hip
hop, and R&B so I’m gonna completely generalize and probably miss the mark
completely here: punk and metal are no longer a threat if they ever were a
threat to begin with. Somhow over
time metal actually became more intelligent and in someways more realistic than
punk, whereas punk today has devolved into a mindless display of token tantrums
and shock tactics with no redeeming value. Both genres are a limpwristed parody of “hard rock” a mere
lilywhite stomping ground for white boy blues mediocrity. And Black Metal? C’mon man, only a bunch of white people
with nothing better to do could come up with such a load of horseshit. Or should I say norseshit. Ok I'll admit I’m still a big fan of Melechesh, so
sue me!
I
should also share a story of a time when my adolescent tough guy wannabe hero posturing
got me in a situation with the violent guy in the pit which completely backfired. It was at a shitty show that could have
only happened in the 90’s.
Ministry was at the height of their popularity but on a downward slide
when they played the Hard Rock with Jesus Lizard. I went with a few friends and we all quartered a dose. Nothing too heavy, right? I showed up just as the acid was coming
on and these big fat biker douches are standing in the middle of the pit
pushing people around. Somehow I seemed
to know a bunch of people at this show so I figure what the fuck and I kick the
fattest of the two bikers fucking hard in his ass. Well for being a lard ass he sure was
quick. He immediately turned and
grabbed me by the throat. Shaking
me up and down. I shit my pants a
little as the whole concert watched me getting choked. He let go and I slunk away. Thanks friends. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it
again the 90’s was the worst time ever for popular music. I’d say it was the worst time for unity
as well but I don’t think unity has ever had it so good to begin with. Let's face it unity only happens when everyone’s got
it so bad they don’t have anything else to turn to.
Maybe we should wish for more bad times to speed up this craaazy
revolution I keep hearing about?
Anyway. Moshed Potatoes. Coulda swore I saw them play the worst
show I ever saw at the Elks Lodge in Henderson. Maybe I’m getting my shitty shows confused here, but I seem
to recall them playing with Caustic Resin or maybe it was Nasal Sex? Caustic Resin was the worst
touring band I saw in the late 80’s beating out Nasal Sex by the slightest of margins as the dumbest shit
ever foisted upon a listening public. And if I’m not mistaken, which I
probably am, Moshed Potatoes opened the show. Maybe I came late to that show because I don’t remember anything about M.P. aside from hating their name.
I
was contacted by Omar the singer of MP a few months ago. He was psyched to hear some of the old KUNV broadcasts I’ve
shared here and he asked me to add their demos to the list of oldy moldy
downloads available at your click.
I never heard their demo back in the day. So I gave it a listen after drinking a six pack.
Omar mentioned that MP had recorded some of these songs as a part of a compilation
that was planned to be released by the somewhat shady organization known as the
Las Vegas Alternative Music Co-op.
Somehow no money ever surfaced from the LVAMC to complete the pressing
of the record, hence my insistence that they were a shady organization. And I’ve heard that from several
sources. Anyway in our
correspondance Omar seemed to indicate that he and his
buddies were hoping to release these tracks and other tracks from You Damn
Skippy, and some other bands from the time who might be better left
forgotten. Not sure who will buy a
record like that but maybe I’m just being cynical?
The Moshed Potaotes demo displays fairly competent 80's hardcore but it
does have an east coast slant to it which is something I’m not real particular
towards. Simple lyrics that ask
few questions and provide no answers so they got that going for them. Moshed Potatoes urges you to “be
yourself” and “be cool.” So long
as you are not a “fucking liar!” which is something for which all angst ridden teenagers can
relate. Buzzsaw guitars and
straightforward drumming mean you’ll never confuse this with crossover metal
shit. And the liberal use of the f
word (fuck) is the sure sign that we got a punk band up in here. And they top it off with a cover of
Henry Garfield’s original name, I mean original band State of Alert. And if you got that reference then you
are a real stickler for details.
Download Moshed Potatoes tracks below
1. Moshed Potatoes 1989 demo
2. Moshed Potatoes LVAMC 1987 tracks
1. Moshed Potatoes 1989 demo
2. Moshed Potatoes LVAMC 1987 tracks
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