Keep Laughing!: The lost Part-Time Whore song?

I had a dream last night about the rock group I fronted. Some say I was fronting the whole time. They may be right.

The group broke up acrimoniously about 20 years ago with a whimper instead of a bang. I say “about” because we never made it official. I stopped coming to practice and they never called me again. The band had run it’s course and we didn’t really get along to begin with. In fact we had a huge fight during a show we were playing in front of 100 people. By all rights we should have broken up at that show, but we had a few big commitments that forced us to limp along for a few more shows. Also we had just released our full length album so there were hopes that we could unload a few more copies before ditching it. I’ve written about the band before on this blog.

That’s history, but it’s also a part of me. Every few years I have a dream where we get the band back together and play a show at a shitty venue to astounding applause. Then there’s talk of a future. I awaken a bit deflated. Instead, in this dream the band got back together without me. And for some reason they were playing on the David Letterman show. I showed up and the guys looked nonplussed. There was some question as to why I was there. I wondered that myself. I don’t think I performed with them in the dream. In fact we were hanging out backstage and that was the extent of the dream. I awoke again deflated.

I miss the camaraderie that comes with being in a band. The us versus them bond made for some powerful moments in my life. It gave me confidence. It made me proud. It broke my heart more than once. In fact it broke my heart enough I stopped coming by to practice. At that point I had a smoking hot girlfriend so it made it easier to walk away from the drama. I still dream about being a part of a group, working together, making something magic. I've always had a hard time relating to other people, so in a way it was magic that Part-Time Whore was able to exist at all.

The truth is, years after the fact I still yearned to be a part of a gang loudly making a statement, even if that statement was music. Somewhere down the line I’ll reveal embarrassing stories about the Thrash Metal band I fronted in Portland and how they kicked me out telling me I wasn't metal enough (too punk) which prompted me to join a Ska band shortly thereafter. I’m not joking, this was like 2005-06.

On to the original idea for this post. It’s the 20 year anniversary of this song being recorded and released on wax. Yes, this song was pressed on vinyl. I wanted to share the song because I don’t think it got it’s due.

The 90’s was a pretty bad time for music in general in all places but one, the world of Very Small Records. The Bay area was still on fire but it wasn’t because of Lookout Records. That label jumped the shark the day it’s co-founder David Hayes left the building. He went on to start his own label which for my money was the only label worth a shit in that entire decade: Very Small Records. While Lookout putzed around trying to find the next Offspring, Very Small Records put out music from the cream of the underground crop including Econochrist, Jawbreaker, Schlong, Lizards, Nuisance, Sick and Tired, Elmer, 23 More Minutes, Logical Nonsense, Sleep, Pinhead Gunpowder, Grimple, Buzzoven… I could go on.

For any musician paying attention it was a dream to be included on one of Very Small Record’s numerous compilations. They were legendary documents of the underground with hilarious samples between songs, impressive musicianship, clever lyricism and other kooky odds and ends. Part-Time Whore needed to get our shit together to record a song for David Hayes, who also happened to be living in Las Vegas at the time at our drummer’s house. So yeah, we already had an in… But I’m happy to say we had a song on par with Very Small’s aesthetic. Something which was almost as good as the stuff we’d been eating up from all those Very Small releases over the years.

I wrote the lyrics for every song we created, so it fell to me to come up with the goods to fit the theme of the compilation, which happened to be songs about drinking ALCOHOL. Not my strong suit but I was no slouch at being a souse either.

Initially I wanted to call it Bourgeoisie Beer Disasters about the perils of buying good beer and putting it in the fridge while your buddies buy the cheap shit and end up drinking all your good beer before you get through the first bottle. I was a slow drinker, still am, invariably my fancy booshie beers would get consumed before I could get my fill. It was a rarity for any of us to afford good beers back then but when it happened I’d often miss out on a second beer from that skunky German import or Pale Ale from Sierra Nevada. So yeah, it was a social issue for which I had a passion. I planned to steal the graphic from the Dead Kennedys: Plastic Surgery Disasters cover and have the smaller hand holding a Heineken. Classy, eh?

I thought it was a clever idea but I also wanted to add a backwards message to the song which seemed out of place with the booshy beer disaster theme. So instead I wrote a song about Heavy Metal horseshit with numerous references to Satan, drug, drink and southern Nevada. Satan was somehow very popular in the 80’s. I suppose he made a resurgence when Black Metal became hot. On a side note I should add that I didn’t think I could have less respect for Heavy Metal until Black Metal made itself known to me.

Tongue in cheek I wrote about 80’s Satan hysteria, swillin beer, smoking weed, and blowing up cars behind Sunrise Mountain, a clear Southern Nevada reference inspired by the Las Vegas punk rock legend known as Badger who is rumored to have stolen cars and blown them up in the desert.

I also included a reference to huffing Freon, which was a fucked up way of getting high for kids on the East side of Las Vegas in the 80’s. It’s outlandish, insane, and hard for me to believe we did that shit without many casualties. We took self destruction to new heights back then, or we were just desperate and stupid. Anyone with memories of engaging in such idiocy might notice how I added a shit ton of reverb to the line “Freon at wholesale))))))).” I did this because when in the throes of freon huffing many reprobates shared stories about hearing voices drenched in reverb right before passing out and pissing or shitting in their pants. Freon was later made illegal because so many kids died huffing that shit. Also it burned a hole in the ozone layer. Which is also not good.

This song, entitled “Speedcore Never Died It Just Got Faded (A Rock Opera)” got lost in the shuffle. It was the last thing we did as a band before petering out. It’s probably our finest moment in terms of recorded output. It’s certainly Part-Time Whore at our most hardcore sounding. It’s also PTW at our most cinematic. People nowadays listen to music on youtube, so I’ve put it out there for all the world to consume at their leisure. If you like it feel free to download it below.

I’m one of those cliche guys who forever hated hardcore punk following the demise of my own hardcore punk band. Surprised? Most "punk rock" made during this time has not aged well. Part-Time Whore is no different. i wasnt the best singer. More of a ballsy front man than anything. At the time the only bands around were paint by numbers garbage, youth crew bullshit to help teens with self esteem issues so they could be a part of "the crew" (barf), emotional hardcore (emo) for teens with puppy love issues, or straight up shitty metal calling itself Crust for “teens” (usually older d-bags) with drug issues. This was prior to Black Metal becoming a big part of extreme white people music which was more of an inspiration later on in "the scene" and to this day gives me just one more reason not to go to shows anymore. But what do I know? I’m an old ass man.

After I walked away I was no longer contributing to that shit and felt like the music, the culture, the scene, had failed and was no longer relevant. I still feel that way when I see people get excited about that stuff, and it makes me annoyed with it even more, and yet I’m writing about it here today. Oh the irony. I hate to be so judgmental but I expected more from it considering how powerful it was for me for such a long time. But hey, it’s entertainment not revolution. That's a seperate discussion. If you read the lyrics from the PTW LP you might think I was taking shit way too seriously. That observation would have pissed me off back then. I'd agree with it now. And yet it doesn't ease up the amount of disappoinment i still feel towards that "subculture."

The goofy nostalgia of this song was a good way for me to ass out of it. That is until I was asked to be a part of a thrash band years later! I’ll have to share that embarrassment of riches another time.

download the song by clicking here: https://www.mediafire.com/file/w7soksm5ozgeodd/14_Speedcore_Never_Died....mp3/file